Someone mentioned to me a few weeks ago about art therapy, and in giving it a go I drew this. When I was a kid, my family went through some hard times and our house was being foreclosed on and we didn’t know where we would end up next. A house? A apartment? Homeless? And so, during that time my sanctuary was out on the tire swing. I would often swing out there for hours and after dark and it created a both horrible and wonderful feeling. Every time my foot kicked off from that tree there was a wonderful rush of getting out my frustration but also kicking out into the dark unknown. It let me put my feelings of fear and frustration into the real world and deal with them.
This wasn’t the first time in my life that there had been something big and scary. But its the first time I am old enough to understand it. Its the clear marking between my point of childlike innocence and the point where I start to realize just how scary the world truly is. And I found this tire-swing exceedingly comforting.
That tire swing and three tree it swung from was ripped out the year we sold the house and has been replaced by an empty yard. Probably for the best since the roots made a lot of the sidewalk structurally unsound but every time I find myself driving by it and think about that tire swing, it feels a bit like a spot where you recently lost a tooth. Missing something, wrong, haven’t experienced in nine years.
Now, as an adult. I’m in a similar place. I have to move back in with my parents due to complicated financial problems not worth getting into. And its easy to feel a bit like that little kid. I don’t know where I am going to end up or whats going to put me there. I’m starting to feel the shrink of my safety net as its really time for me to be out on my own. And it makes me really miss that tire swing in that little backyard when my biggest problems where the things my parents had to deal with.